Coming Out of The Jewish Closet

First off, I would like to apologize for not posting for quite a while. School, extracurricular activities and my social life have taken up quite a bit of my time lately. 

Anyway, I would like to update you all on me telling my family about my choice to convert to Judaism (some of my friends and I call it "coming out of the Jewish closet"). At first I was very nervous. As I mentioned in a previous post, I thought that the situation would include guilt trips, dissuasion attempts, anger, frustration, and ridicule. I am happy to report that I was completely wrong. The opposite occurred. 

One evening during my Thanksgiving break I sat down with my mom and I just told her that I was converting. She didn't really understand what I was telling her at first, then she had many questions. I anticipated many of the questions she had in order to prepare for the conversation. Luckily, I was able to answer every question she had. 

Back then and even until now she has some issues with my beliefs and practices, but for the most part she respects my decision. I believe that her respect for my decision comes largely because I have taken time to think it through and I was able to show her that this was something that I seriously wanted to do. 

My favorite time in my conversion since letting my mother and brothers know about my conversion process was on one weekend I came home to visit. I came home on Friday and when my mom got home from work I showed her how to light the Shabbat candles. We also had challah and had dinner and I talked to her about some Shabbat practices. The next day I showed her how I do Havdallah (the ceremony to end Shabbat). She and my brothers were very interested in learning about it.

This type of reaction to my change in religion was unexpected. What I can take from this situation is that I've grown and my mom now sees me as a man capable of making my own decisions. She now respects me as a person and no longer sees me as a child. I am exceedingly happy about that. Now the next step is to tell my dad and pretty much everyone else in my family. 

Thanksgivukkah!

Thanksgiving is going to be very special for me this year. It is already my favorite holiday, but this year it falls on the second night of Hanukkah. I am excited to be having a double holiday. I have never celebrated Hanukkah before so it will be quite a learning experience. I've already done some research about the original story, and the miracle that G-d performed by allowing the oil sufficient for one day of lighting in the temple to stretch for eight days. For everything else I'm going to be asking my Jewish friends. I want to learn about foods, songs, traditions, mitzvot, and prayers that are typical for this holiday. Since I will be going back home I can involve my family and introduce these things as a cultural experience. I'm guessing that they will be open to trying new things especially foods if I can actually figure out how to make something.

To celebrate I will need to bring a menorah and candles home, which will be hard to explain to my mom and brothers since my family has never celebrated Hanukkah before. However, I do believe that my family is open-minded enough to appreciate the holiday and its meaning, especially since this holiday celebrates something great that G-d has done for His people. My only fear is that questions about why I am celebrating Hanukkah will lead to questions about whether I'm trying to convert to Judaism. If this happens before I'm ready to share it there might be some awkwardness to follow.

At this point I still haven't talked to my family about my decision to convert. I was thinking that maybe I could use the time of my Thanksgiving break to let them know and talk about it with them. Wondering how my family will take my decision is one of the most difficult parts about converting. I know I will be met with significant resistance, guilt trips, dissuasion attempts, anger, frustration, and perhaps ridicule, but I know that they love me, and I know that I have to tell them at some point. If all goes well I will have their blessing to pursue conversion. If it does not go well I am prepared to go on in the process without their blessing.

Another difficult part about this Thanksgivukkah will be the food. I'm starting to learn about, and attempting to keep a kosher diet, and that means I won't be eating certain foods. This is especially difficult because my family is African American. In my head I'm going through the typical foods my mom makes for Thanksgiving, and I'm finding it difficult to think of anything that is Kosher by itself. I do admit that I don't know all of the Kosher rules, but from what I do know I can foresee this being quite a challenge.

Even with the challenges and potential for a negative experience with telling my family that I'm converting, I'm still looking forward to this break and the holidays that I will be celebrating with it as well. I will be sure to blog about my family's reaction to learning about my decision to convert when Thanksgiving break is over.

P.S. Here's a Hanukkah song I came across. I think it's pretty cool and educational. I love a capella singing and the tune and the creative lyrics are really good. Enjoy!