What I had been looking for all along

I was raised in a very Christian household. My father was a pastor of a Church of Nazarene in Summit, IL when I was born. Although he is no longer a pastor, he has been a musician at several different churches from time to time. My mother has always been very active in the church participating in many different church functions ranging from being the children's choir director, to missionary, to adult choir member, and many other things. As a child, and even into my late teenage years, I was also very active in the church. Until college I rarely missed a service a Sunday. I could count the times I missed on one hand. I was well-versed in scripture, and I was very serious about my Christian faith. 

When I came to college some things changed. I did not go to church as often for several reasons. One major reason was that I don't have a car and there aren't many protestant churches near my campus. The other major reason was that I became lazy when it came to religion. During the time I was away from organized religion I had some time to really look at religion from my own eyes and try to look at it objectively. This raised several questions and doubts about religion in my mind. These questions and doubts had me leaning toward the point where I wanted nothing to do with Jesus, G-d, or anything with religion. I had decided that if I was going to be a part of any religion or believe in any divine being I was going to leave it in the hands of that divine being or otherwise live as a secular humanist.

I went about this decision in a very counterintuitive fashion. Instead of staying away from religion I immersed myself into religion, and religious learning and discussion with the goal of seeing it as an outsider: objectively, logically, and critically.  One summer I tried reading the whole New Testament of the Bible. I joined two Christian bible study clubs at Bradley, and I still attended my home church services whenever I went home. All the while I was looking for something, anything that would cause me to no longer have any doubts or questions about Christianity. I found none. In fact, I was starting to see more and more reasons to stay away from Christianity. The more I learned about it the more of a bad taste it left in my mouth. Despite being raised as a Christian, my morality, my way of thinking, my personal philosophy, my beliefs about who G-d is, and my world view never really aligned with what Christianity teaches. So, I decided that I would no longer be a Christian. As a result of my decision, I lived a few months of my life without a religion.

Finally a friend of mine from Bradley Hillel asked if I wanted to help her with a new program she was starting called Challah for Hunger (C4H). I like doing fun activities such as these especially if it's for a good cause. At this point I looked up information on Judaism before and attended one or two Shabbat services some years ago, but I never really took it any further than that. Through C4H I was able to get be exposed to some Jewish customs, traditions, philosophies, and ideologies. This caused me to become more interested in Judaism. I wanted to know more, so I started researching things online and asking my Jewish friends about their religion. Then I began attending Shabbat services again. Something about the services gave me the feeling that this is what I had been looking for all along. I felt blessed by the prayers, the togetherness of everyone present, and the encouraging words of Rabbi Bogard. After I got that feeling I knew that I wanted to be a part of it. 

That is my story up until now. That is how I came from a Christian background and decided to convert to Judaism.